Set Clear Expectations Before You Work Together

In a discussion about managing a business team, I explain why I want the difficult expectations on the table at the beginning. I want to say how I want the work done, what I don't want to see, and whether the person actually cares about the arrangement I'm describing. If those things don't fit, I'd rather find out before making a commitment.

I apply that thinking to clients as well as the people I work with inside a business. Someone offering to pay me doesn't settle whether I want the relationship. I still have to consider the personal time and responsibility that come with accepting it.

Make standards visible before someone commits

Before discussing my own approach, I describe a friend's business where departments display performance information on monitors. People in a department can see the results relevant to that part of the business. The measures differ according to what each department is trying to achieve.

That story leads me to a question about fit. I tell my friend that some people might tour the office, see that environment, and decide they don't want to work under those expectations. I say in the video that he smiled but didn't answer my comment.

That distinction matters: his smile wasn't confirmation of what actually happened. It was my interpretation of the conversation. The example explains the idea I move into next, which is making expectations clear enough that someone can decide whether he wants the relationship.

Choosing people is a central part of building a useful business network. Explaining the working arrangement gives the other person information to make a choice, too.

Say the specific things early

“I really try to set expectations with people ahead of time.”

I describe being very direct on the front end. If there is tension between me and another person, I want to address it rather than spend the beginning of the relationship avoiding it. I want to explain what I'm doing, why the person might care, and what happens if he doesn't.

That includes being particular about details. Near the end of the video, I describe telling someone how I want things done and the things I never want to see. Those details belong in the conversation before the person agrees to work with me.

I don't describe that directness as an attempt to be mean. I describe it as sincerity. If the expectations are a problem, I can understand that, end the call, and avoid taking the arrangement further.

I would rather have that outcome than begin with a comfortable but incomplete understanding. The other person needs to hear the standards I'm actually going to care about once the work begins.

Consider the obligation that comes with a fee

During the discussion, I refer to people applying to work with me through mentoring. My concern is choosing the right people. I don't want to spend personal time with someone who isn't serious about his own life and goals.

“I only want to work with people that are very serious.”

I explain that money from the wrong person can bring a bigger problem than the payment solves. There are expenses involved in the work, and there is the obligation to deal with that person. The fee alone doesn't capture what the relationship will require.

In the video, I make that point by considering what an extra few thousand dollars would buy after expenses. The additional purchases don't make me want to spend time with someone who doesn't respect his own goals. The relationship itself still has to make sense.

My language about an asset becoming a liability describes that personal tradeoff. I am weighing the payment against the commitment attached to it. I don't want to accept money and only then confront the fact that I don't want the working relationship.

That connects to choosing where my attention goes. A new agreement uses time I could put into something else. I have to care about what I'm committing to.

Address tension even when you like the person

Part of the conversation concerns discomfort with conflict. I describe people avoiding the initial discussion of expectations and continuing to carry tension afterward. My approach is to bring the specific issue into the conversation early.

Near the end, the other participant distinguishes conflict with enemies from conflict with friends. He says the latter is harder for him. That is his observation, and it helps explain why someone might avoid a necessary conversation with a person he likes.

I offer to talk with him further about it. The point in my own approach remains the same: I want to say what I expect even when the relationship makes that conversation uncomfortable.

Liking someone doesn't explain how I want the work done. I still need to be specific. If the person doesn't want what I'm describing, I would rather recognize the mismatch than leave it unspoken.

Give both people a clear decision

At the end of my explanation, I return to smaller businesses and to being precise at the beginning. I describe my own preferences openly so the person knows what working with me involves. He can accept those expectations or decide the fit isn't there.

Explain the work before agreeing to it. Say what you want and what you don't want. Find out whether the person takes the commitment seriously. If the expectations don't fit, ending the conversation early can prevent a working relationship neither person should have started.